Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
