do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
