I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
