There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
