He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize