Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
