hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
