She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
