fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
