If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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