so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
