all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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