Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
