are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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