Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just forgot I was standing up.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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