it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
