Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
