I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
