Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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