Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
