i barfeds in our rink
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm getting married
To pizza
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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