i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
