if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this beer tastes like vomit already
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she told me i tasted like america
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
