great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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