I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize