I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
