I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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