I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's JV to your varsity
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
