When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
