I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
