and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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