Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
