So drunk, too bad you don't want this
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
