Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
