I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
