She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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