I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
