woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
