oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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