So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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