dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize