I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
