do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
