Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
