I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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