I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
