Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
