I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
