It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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