I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
