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Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
