No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
