I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
