Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
