Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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