i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
