i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i think i have two assholes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
