We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
