we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
