he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
