I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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